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Who is The Carpark Slut?
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CPS was born to Shirley and Gerald on September 3, ???? At
Glenelg Community Hospital 6.30 AM
7lbs 1oz 21 1/2 Inches Long,Fair Hair.Very Cute Baby Even
At 7 Months Old As You Can See.
He is a man who goes by many names - he has been known as
"Midget" in the past, but recently a new handle
- CPS - was attached.
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Encouraged by his
dad, CPS was introduced to the water at an early age through
his participation in surflifesaving.
He became interested in surfing at the age of 12, but was never
very good at it.On the verge of giving it up at the age of 14,
he was struck by
lightning whilst setting up a short wave radio antenna in
a tent. |
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He amazed doctors with his super fast recovery, but it wasn't until
he ventured into the surf again that the miraculous transformation
occured.
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The 10,000,000
volt jolt had given CPS super powers. It enabled him to get
more waves than other surfers, and pull off amazing moves. This
inevitably lead him into competition, where he blitzed all comers
for several years. |
Soon though, evil forces jealous of the freakish goofy footer's
incredible talent sought to end his contest career. Lesser surfers
suddenly started defeating him, and tired of arguing with bribed
judges, he eventually quit.
He ventured into a mental wilderness for some years, disillusioned
with his surfing peers. He dabbled in panel vans, mysticism and
public nudity, and spent his days fishing and skateboarding. Eventually
though, the ocean beckoned.
| Years on, his love
of the ocean is as strong as ever. CPS surfs like a grommet
one third his age, and charges in all manner of conditions.
He loves the big stuff, counting Bells and Chinaman's amongst
his favourite waves. |
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CPS ventures to Bells Beach every year for the Rip Curl Pro, hanging
out with Pro Surfers like Kelly Slater, Joel Parkinson and Mick
Fanning in the lead up to the event. His wall is adorned with posters
autographed by his idols, and photos of him standing beside them.
 
My
Famous Walls
His penchant for lurking in the Bells Beach carpark with a camera
earned him his nickname - The Car Park Slut.
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| Quick Stats |
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Real Name:
Unknown
Age:
Unknown
Height:
6'3"
Eyes:
Blue
Hair:
Bleached
Hobbies:
Surfing,PS2, XBox,PC Games,Fishing
Movies:
Terminator, School of Rock, JAWS, ID4,The Matrix,Queen
Of The Damned,Puberty Blues,Gone In 60 Seconds,Demolition
Man,Star Wars,Death Race 2000,Bodyline,
Batman,War Of The Worlds,War Games
TV:
South Park, Simpsons, Days of our lives, Bold & The Beautiful,
Passions, Young and the Restless
Music:MurderDolls,StoneSour
The Transplants,Rogue Traders,AntiFlag,
Yellow Card, I.C.P
Green Day,Good Charlotte, Beastie Boys,Sum 41,Frenzal Rhomb,ToeToToe,Blink
182,Pennywise,Vice Squad,Exploding White Mice Bearded Clams,
Suicidal Tendencies Pearl Jam, Slipknot,
System Of A Down,
Food:
Sour worms, Maccas,KFC,Steak,Fish Tuna,Turkey,Hot Dogs
And My Green Vegies Cause My Mum Said There Good For Me
If I ruled the world:
I'd have an endless supply of sour lollies and KFC, live in
front of a perfect lefthander that breaks 4 - 6' offshore
every day, Mals and Boogers would be exterminated.
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